Saturday, 3 November 2012

Hi, my name is Sandy and I'm here to destroy your home

Please, stop naming hurricanes as if they were strippers or Barbie dolls. Euphemisms have a role to play in our language, but it's not to be used to deceive and misinform. Hurricane Sandy?...


It's a relentless, destructive force of nature that runs over people's lives like a bulldozer and leaves nothing back but ruins! Does that sound like "Sandy" to you? Do you think the relatives of the tsunami mayhem in Thailand would feel good if the Tsunami that wiped off their loved ones and completely demolished their homes was named "Candy" or "Dandy?"

Show nature some respect, and most importantly, show the victims of these awful phenomenons some respect... I'm going to lead by example, so I officially baptise this recent hurricane as "Hurricane Ass-hole!" This will be the official name, but for the PG hours on Tv we'll refer to it as "Hurricane Adolph." Let's face it, if you hear that hurricane Adolph is coming to town, you don't stick around to see if it's a "mild" one, do you?

This is simply filthy, dishonest language. The same as calling rich people "job creators." No, they are actually "profit creators." If their business was to create jobs, guess what...they would be creating jobs. But they're not... they're creating profit. And sometimes, to make a profit, you need to "lay off" a couple of million people and throw them out in the street. Yeah, that's another one... "We had to lay some people off." Which is code for "firing their asses!"

Another good example is calling dead people "casualties." That's a good one, one of my favourites... some 5 year old gets blown to pieces by a landmine just outside Baghdad and what you hear is that "there were some casualties outside Baghdad this evening." It's not a casualty... it's a "dead child!"

"There was some collateral damage." This is usually code for "dead civilians!"

"We will keep an eye on things" instead of "we will be spying on you!"

I live in a world were businesses have become "private corporations."
Assassinations have become "target neutralisations."
Being unfaithful now is "to sleep around..." How cute.
The banks taking your money is now called a "stimulus package."

I can go on and on and on...and that really saddens me.