1) "You have beautiful eyes..."
Why is this cute expression on this list you might wonder? The answer is simple...because ALL women have beautiful eyes! I have yet to meet a woman who doesn't have beautiful eyes. Even when you meet a really non-attractive woman, you can't help but saying to yourself "at least she has beautiful eyes though." All women's eyes are simply gorgeous, this is a fact. When a man approaches a woman and uses this expression, it's because he is completely unimaginative and cannot be bothered to actually pay attention to the particular woman long enough to notice the many other beautiful qualities she definitely has that are more exclusive to her own individuality. And because he is so unimaginative and lacks real interest, he simply prefers to state the obvious which is always a win-win situation. "You have the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen" has more merit because the expression evolves into a matter of personal taste...though it is also used extremely too casually to actually be taken seriously.
2) "I always have safe sex..."
It is common belief that the use of a condom during sex offers protection. But this is not the actual purpose of this invention. The main objective of the use of condoms is to isolate the act of sex from the emotion of trust. Meaning that they provide the ability to their users to have sex without necessarily trusting their sexual partner. There are three main reasons why anyone would want to use a condom:
a) because you don't trust your lover enough to not have an incurable illness,
b) because you don't trust your partner to be a worthy parent to your children
and c) because ultimately, you don't trust your self to be worthy or capable of parenthood yet.
You will notice that the word "trust" is repeated here, which suggests that the actual aim of this product is not actually safety...the aim is to be able to have sex with people you don't really trust. And when exactly was the last time you ever felt safe while doing something with someone you didn't consider trustworthy? Probably never...The emotional condition of safety is directly dependent on the feeling of trust. When you say "I don't trust him," what you subsequently mean is that "I don't feel safe with him." It's the same emotional condition expressed in a different way. Therefore the term "safe sex" is completely false and is basically a marketing trick inherited collectively by all the condom manufacturers in order to make their product sound more appealing...the correct term which would adequately describe this act is "substitute sex" or "alternative sex." Because that's exactly what it is...an alternative way of having sex. But we all know that this 100% accurate term wouldn't raise sales now, would it? "Safe sex" is a completely bullshit term and expression and the only reason people use it is because the corporations and the media advertising has basically embedded the term in our culture. Saying "I had safe sex" because you used a condom is like saying "I had a healthy lunch" because your Big Mac had cabbage in it.
End of Part I...Part II soon to follow.
"Saying "I had safe sex" because you used a condom is like saying "I had a healthy lunch" because your Big Mac had cabbage in it." --Hilarious analogy and completely true!! Love the imagery there ;)
ReplyDeleteI can honestly say, I had never thought of the term "safe sex" in this way before. Your explanation of trust and safety makes perfect sense and should be thought about in those terms. "Safe sex" is a lie.
Thanks to you, the sex talk with my children (when I finally have some that is LoL) might come a little easier now that I have a different way of thinking about this (the sex talk I received from my mom was a joke).
This is kind of a long comment so I will go before it rambles on too much. I look forward to reading the rest of these!!
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ReplyDeleteLOVE this about 'trust'! May I add one more thing, though? I was thinking as I was reading this that in all reality this ONE aspect may not be trust, but that we just may NOT WANT to be a parent again! Not having anything to do with not trusting ourselves, but if we already have children and feel VERY COMPLETE and don't want to grow our family any larger, then it's TO the condom, or off to get fixed! Either party!
ReplyDeleteI SO agree with the first comment left by MizTink! GREAT way to approach the 'Safe Sex' talk with our kids! I'm going to have to REVAMP my talk with my son! I have touched on that in a way, believe it or not! I think YOUR way may get his attention MUCH better than the way "I" worded it. Thanks to you BOTH!
I agree with you completely. When protection is used by married couples, or by couples in general who already have kids but don't feel the need to have any more children, then using protection is very logical and is actually the definition of correct use of protection. My aim with this post is not to attack the use of condoms, that would be stupid. This post attacks the reasons why people commonly use condoms.And let's face it, the manufacturers of these products are not marketing their product to married couples, they are a small percentage of the overall market. These manufacturers focus their advertising on single,"hormones coming out of their ear" teenage boys and girls and the main product they're selling in not actually the condom its self. What they are pushing is fear of AIDS. Fear of pregnancy. The more lovers DON'T trust their partners, the more condoms they will sell. I am not attacking the use of protection... I am attacking the exploitation of sexual protection for profit and the immoral reasoning it produces.
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